The Secret No One Told You To Keeping New Year’s Resolutions

Happy New Year, dear reader.

I hope 2023 finds you well, or at least coping. And if not so much, I hope you are able to seek support. You deserve support.

A new day, a new month, a new year. Today is all those things and more.
To be super, crystal clear, you can start over whenever you need to. Any second, minute, hour, day, week, month, or year. Any time at all.

New Beginnings, New Resolutions to Fail At

All the same, new beginnings lend momentum. Especially a new year. And so we have New Year’s resolutions. Do you make these?
I have in the past. And I’m certain I didn’t keep a single one of them!

An old standby of mine is to sleep better.
I have failed spectacularly at this for years!

If you’re someone who doesn’t sleep well, do you know the hoops you need to jump through sleep better?
Allow me to share what I learned from my research.

You need to wind down in the evenings. This means quiet, dim light only, and non-stimulating things.

No screens
no scrolling
no exciting movies or shows
no riveting podcasts or audiobooks
no novels that keep you turning pages
no loud music
no work
no last minute tasks to cram into the day.

Who can manage all of that?!!
My weakness was to cram more last minute tasks into the day. Suddenly it would be 11:43pm and I hadn’t showered or brushed my teeth yet. Ugh. Now I’m frustrated and angry. Sleep ain’t happening here…

(Spoiler: I did eventually manage to sort out my sleep issues. You can read about my bedtime ritual here.)

The challenge of conducting my evenings as though I was in the 18th century, instead of the 21st, isn’t the reason my New Year’s resolutions failed though. I usually had a bevy of other things I was trying to do at the same time: eat better, exercise more, learn several skills, etc.

The biggest predictor of failure is too many resolutions all at once.

Reader, I shit you not.

If your list includes more than 2, chances are high that you won’t be doing any of them for longer than a month or 2.

A wise friend noted it has taken her A FULL YEAR of effort to successfully carve out some time in the evening for an activity she loves.

“Put aside an hour or two in the evening” is deceptively simplistic.
That hour or two was already fully occupied. What are you displacing in order to repurpose it? When will you do the displaced activity, or are you willing/able to give it up?

There is much humility, determination, and sacrifice required to start a new thing. And you have to get through all of that before you get the payout. (Hopefully you enjoy doing the thing so are rewarded by the process before you get to the results.) If you’re doing several new things, that’s a huge undertaking.

All of that to say, if you’ve previously made New Year’s resolutions you couldn’t keep, that’s pretty damn reasonable. You’re in good company.

So, dear reader, what’s the secret to keeping your New Year’s resolution?

Here’s the secret.

If you’re thinking about setting resolutions this year at all, try choosing just 1 new thing for the first half of the year.

If you feel that choosing only 1 thing (instead of 3 or 5 or more) is a cop out, I invite you look back over the trail of broken resolutions in past years. Maybe this doesn’t apply to the superhuman among us, but I think it applies to the rest of us eyeing that bag of chips in the cupboard.

If your 1 thing doesn’t work out, that’s ok, it really is. You can regroup and try again in the 2nd half of the year.
If it does work out, celebrate! You can set a 2nd thing in the summertime if you like.

1 or 2 new things by the end of 2023 is way better than zero things!

Are you considering New Year’s resolutions this year?
Another way to maximize success is to talk about it! Let me know what you’re thinking of in the comments.

P.S. If your resolutions include things like losing weight, exercising more, or eating better, I invite you to consider these alternatives: