This has been a week of practicing acceptance, and of practicing self-compassion.
Read on if you want to know what that looks like.
Remember how I started the Mermay project with a buffer of paintings?
Remember I said despite my best efforts, I knew I would lose that buffer?
Yeah.
It’s gone.
I’m now painting and posting on the same day. This is Not Ideal.
There is anxiety.
Mistakes get made.
Standards are lowered.
That said, practicing making mistakes and sharing paintings I wish I could spend another few hours on is very useful!
That said, I enjoy having low levels of anxiety in my life and make Efforts to keep it that way.
That means I skipped some paintings I planned on.
And that means I stared into the abyss of self-criticism and self-bludgeoning.
Here’s where the practice of acceptance and self-compassion comes in. To save me from the abyss!
First, Practicing Acceptance.
I wasn’t able to keep up with painting all the paintings I planned. It’s ok.
The ones I did finish are lovely.
It helps that I set myself up from the beginning knowing that I would skip days intentionally, and miss a few others unintentionally. It’s ok.
I’m only human. And I’m the particular human I am, with my particular energy levels and attention span. I can only do what I can. Not more. It’s ok.
Friends, it’s one thing to say/write the above. Believing it is a whole different story. And the belief is the most work. It takes time and practice. It’s ok.
Next, Practicing Self-compassion.
It’s ok for things not to go as planned. They rarely do.
It happens to all of us, to the best of us.
When I felt the abyss yawning, I soothed myself. I did kind things for my body. That looks like eating fruit I enjoy, taking hot showers, and lying down. I read a book for pleasure and had some nice tea. Punishment is not required. Kindness is.
I took the role of a wise parent and gave myself encouragement. That sounded like:
“It’s ok that you’re not able to do all the paintings you want to right now. It’s better to make the ones you’re able to and let them be their beautiful selves. Much better than feeling overwhelmed and not making any of them at all. The paintings you have made are beautiful. It’s good they’re in the world.”
And also like:
“You are not defined by the number of paintings you make. You are inherently valuable and worthy of love, no matter what.”
I am myself, and I am inherently valuable, no matter what.
Do you need to read that sentence again?
Please do.
You are amazing.
And so am I.
May we both shine our light for all to see.
Self-compassion Resources, by Effort Required
If you would like to learn more about the practice of self-compassion, here are a few resources you can start with. Take what you need, and what you can manage right now.
Small: 4 Ways to Boost Your Self-compassion (Harvard Health Publishing)
Medium: How to Practice Self-Compassion: 8 Techniques and Tips (PositivePsychology.com, incorporates a lot of Dr. Neff’s research)
Large: Dr. Kristen Neff’s website: self-compassion.org
I’ve updated the Portraits for Mermay collection. Check it out and let me know which one is your favorite!
Previous Mermay blog posts here:
Week 1: Building Self Trust With Mermaid Art
Week 2: Self-awareness And Recognizing Old Habits
